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PETS GO MISSING!
 
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No pets roam the streets
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Disturbing reports of disappearing pets have been mounting
over recent days, our reporter Polly Dardanelles reports.
The tally now stands at 2 cats, 2 dogs and a prize-winning lop-eared bunny rabbit.
Police vets have been called in to investigate. When asked whether they suspect a
sinister pet-rustling ring to be operating in
the area PC Dixel Downey, leading the investigation, said "We haven't ruled out any
line of inquiry as yet. Currently the rabbit is proving particularly elusive, but we
are following a number of leads for the dogs." "Our principal
concern is for the safe return of the pets etc" he went on.
Mrs Sandy Beds, worried owner of the second pet to go missing - a tabby cat called
Phillip - said "I'm very worried. He's been gone for almost 14 hours now. I've looked
everywhere for him; under the stairs, in the bathroom, in his basket. I even looked
in the garden. Personally I blame the kids from the estate."
This view was echoed by Mr Arnos Grove, who owns Skippy, a four year old
Dachshund/Alsation cross - the third pet to disappear. "I blame the kids from the
estate" he said. "I saw them round here yesterday on their bicycles. And now I've not
seen Skippy since 11:00 this morning when I let him out onto the street to do his
business."
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However, Mr Bill Bixby, owner of missing Doberman "Soltan" is less certain. "He'd take the arm
off of any of those kids" he said. "He's a good dog. I trained him meself" he added.
Bixby favours the rustling theory. "Dogs like Soltan are highly sought after in the
East End. I wouldn't be surprised if he's at least half a mile away by now, since he
disappeared over 40 minutes ago."
A similar theory is proposed by Mr Darren Balls, distressed owner of "Flopsy", the
prize-winning lop-earred bunny rabbit. "That thing was, sorry is, worth a
fortune! We'd just had him insured." he said. He then described what had happened. "I'd
just gone down the shops to buy a sack and some bricks, and by the time I got back
from the river he was gone." "He was rustled - no question" he added. "And that's what
I've told the insurance company as well."
Perhaps most perplexing is the case of the first pet to disappear - some 15 years
ago! "She was a brownish coloured cat as I recall." said the owner, Mrs Moira Leeming.
"I can't remember her name, but she'd have been about 8 years old then I think." she
continued. "Of course, she'll be dead by now."
The investigation continues.
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The wrangle about the speed bumps on Haberdashery
Lane continued into it's third year this week, as local residents again petitioned the
council. Having successfully argued to have the speed bumps introduced, residents
now say the bumps are too big. "It's a disgrace", said their spokesperson Mrs Fenella
Honeyman, "The bumps are an average of two feet high, and we just cannot get our cars
over them."
The response from the council has been typically brusque to date. "They
said they wanted the bumps to reduce the speed of through-traffic -
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Haberdashery Lane - now a car-free zone
- and we have been successful in doing this." said Councillor Billy-Bob McGuire. "I don't know
what they are complaining about" he added.
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| Peas stolen
Shelled peas worth approximately £1.30 were stolen from a bowl in a garden in
Upper Stubley Grove Avenue last Tuesday afternoon. Police are not pursuing the
case.
Fire put out
A fire in an ashtray at Harrings the cheese shop was put out successfully by
staff yesterday. The fire is believed to have been started by a discarded match.
No injuries or damage occured, and Harrings, on the High Street, has now
re-opened.
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Councillor opens crossing
A new pelican crossing on Cockup Road was opened yesterday by Cllr. Ronald
Badge. The new crossing will make access to The Camping Store direct from Boots,
the chemists, possible at last. "I now declare this pelican crossing open!"
Cllr. Badge said in a well-rehearsed speech.
Pavement report almost complete
A special report on the state of the borough's pavements is nearing completion a council source has revealed.
The report, rumoured to cost £1200, will detail the number and whereabouts of missing, broken and loose paving
stones and was commissioned last August.
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Local News Page 1
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